Forget the flowers, fancy cards, and chocolates this Valentine's Day - not only are they going to be more expensive than usual, they're also not the best use of your hard-earned money. If you haven't gotten a gift or planned anything by now, I'VE GOT YOUR BACK!
I'm not big on flowers or gifts that, like my dad likes to say, exist only to 'collect dust' (no prizes for guessing if my mum has ever received flowers from my dad). Maybe it's a take-away from my parents' actions-speak-louder-than-words-or-gifts kinda relationship growing up, but being romantic has never equated to spending money on inconsequential/unnecessary items.
If you're single (and don't let society make you feel bad about being single on Valentine's Day), these gifts ideas can be enjoyed solo as well!
This post will tell you how to make conscious choices with your hard-earned money, to get gifts that your partner (or yourself) will truly appreciate.
I chose two criteria that these options needed to fulfil:
- It creates future and/or recurring experiences/benefits for gift recipient - this means no one-off perishables.
- It creates quality time between giver and recipient
1. Music
Buy them music
What better way to let someone know you are attentive to their preferences than buying them music they'd like? Way to score brownie points. Tip:
It's also a gift that doesn't expire - you can listen to it anytime you want even after Valentine's Day.
Suggestion: You could get Daniel Chia's debut album, 'In The Moment'. (Full disclosure: I might be biased because he's my significant other, but it's honestly good music).
Price: US$9.99 (S$14.20) for digital download only, and US$14.99 (S$21.31) for physical CD + digital download. Available for pre-order here.Create a mixtape
Not good with words? Let music do the talking for you. Try making a mixtape. Create a Spotify or SoundCloud playlist for a virtual surprise, or burn it into a CD or thumb drive for a tangible gift!
Price: (Close to) nothing.
2. Experiences
This is a great way to create a shared experience and memory.
Many people like to wear their 'I'm so busy' badge around like a medal. If you don't block time out for people and relationships that matter to you, expect to reap what you (don't) sow! Here are a few ideas on the kinds of experiences you can get (adapted from TIME.com's 21 Experiences That Make Great Gifts)
Concert Tickets
Here's a pricier alternative to buying music that your partner will enjoyable. Buy them tickets to catch a music act and create a moment that you'll both remember.
Price: Depends on which category you want to be in and which act you're catching!
Emergency Getaway
Daniel and I have a Getaway for 2 Travel Experience Voucher that we bought from LUXLY that we're saving for an 'emergency' getaway in case we get too stressed or foresee ourselves not being able to spend a lot of time with each other (he's going on tour and I might be flying off to record my EP).
Taken from LUXLY.sg (emphasis mine):
Choose the theme of your travel gift voucher from romantic escapes and weekend gateways, and let the recipient choose his or her own gift from a wide range of unique experiences in some of Asia's most popular destinations, including Cambodia, Indonesia, Malaysia, Thailand, Singapore and Vietnam. Vouchers are valid for 12 months and experiences can be booked any time on our website or by contacting us at reservation@luxly.sg or +65 6385 2636
Which is great for us. However, if you want to book in advance, do so early on in the year, i.e. now, before all your projects start filling up your calendar. Taking the advice of Tim Ferriss, author of The 4-Hour Workweek and whose podcast I listen to semi-religiously, the anticipation of a an upcoming trip also makes up a big part of the enjoyment of the gift! That's something to consider.
Price: We got ourselves a package at a significant discount at a fair last year, but you can still choose from 4 different packages ranging from S$198 - S$588. I'm certain that the cheapest option works, so there.
Dance Lessons
My new friend Thanapong and I at SEA JAM 2017, which I was singing at but ended up being asked to a dance, reigniting my interest in Lindy Hop
Specifically, Lindy Hop. Beginners are welcome! One of our friends joked that Daniel has two left feet and I have two right feet, so we're perfect partners in dancing HAHA.
Taken from their website:
Swing out to the big band music of the 1930s and 40s Big Bands! Lindy Hop is the happy dance that gets you grooving and moving to the swing rhythm. Taught by our experienced teaching team, headed by Sing Lim and Brian Ang, you don’t need experience or even a partner to join in the fun. Classes are run in 4 week courses and there is a Swing Fling Social every Thursday from 9pm to 11pm where you can enjoy dancing with different partners each week! The dancers also enjoy dancing to the great live bands at Barber Shop every Wednesday where music and dance come together to create a unique and vibrant atmosphere.
Price: $35 per lesson, $300 for 10 lessons (recommended!) - check out their website for more details here.
3. Day
The best gift you can give anyone is your undivided attention and uninterrupted quality time. Many things can be bought with money, but not time. Tip for making the most out of this experience: stick to a no-phone/airplane mode rule.
The top love language for Daniel and I is quality time. If that's the same for you, this would be a good and cheap alternative to a fancy day/night out! Here are a couple of suggestions on what you can do together:
Prepare a meal together
He loves preparing steak (for him) and chicken chop (for me) and I'm not so good at the food preparation so I do the dishes after.
Netflix and chill
Yup. Or just vegetate.
Price: Just... cheaper than a day out.
4. An OMGYes subscription (if a woman is involved, haha)
If this is the first time you're hearing about OMGYes, you may thank me later. It's 2017, i.e. high time we removed the taboo from talking about women's sexual pleasure and sex in general (this warrants a more in-depth post in future)!
A bit about OMGYes, taken from their website (emphases mine):
On OMGYes, you’ll explore techniques from the first-ever large scale research about the specifics of women’s pleasure. Combining the wisdom of over 2,000 women, ages 18-95. You'll have new tools in your toolbox for women, men, and couples.
Grounded in research, this will undoubtedly improve your sexual experiences together! Sexual intimacy is very much a partner activity, so please don't rely on one party to do all the giving and the other to do all the taking. Learning how to pleasure each other should be a shared responsibility, if you will, to maximise overall happiness. At the very least, this will ignite open communication about your preferences in the bedroom (if there isn't already)!Or if you're spending Valentine's Day alone, this doesn't sound like too bad of an idea as well.
You can either go green and send the lucky girl the gift over email, or if you prefer a physical representation, choose the printable version!
Price: US$40, which is around S$57, but if you're in an equal partnership, the gift recipient can always opt to split the cost. Why not, right? I would.
Parting Thoughts
Valentine's Day doesn't have to be something to get over and done with. If you feel pressurised to deliver something spectacular for your partner on Valentine's Day (or any other special occasion), maybe you should have a talk with them!
On the other hand, who says you have to celebrate Valentine's Day anyway? Not only does it have strangely dark origins, prices for special Valentine's Day meals and gifts are usually more expensive than usual.
You don't have to do what society (or actually maybe just big corporations and the big marketing machine) tells you to do! A true and secure relationship doesn't need external validation. So don't buy into the crap that advertisers try to feed you.
Also, if your relationship is made of real stuff, every day can be Valentine's Day. What you and your partner do on all the other days is probably more indicative of whether there is true romance in your relationship. Otherwise, feel free to take the above suggestions beyond Valentine's Day and do more things that allow you and your partner to build a stronger relationship together!
Have a wonderful Valentine's Day (or plain ol' Tuesday), and I wish you the best of luck.
Lots of love,